How to Not Let Fame and Fortune Go to Your Head

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No matter what you do—whether you’re an online entrepreneur, author, anything, or anyone—fame and fortune, or just the possibility of fame and fortune, can be a dangerous part of your journey. If we want to be acting with honesty and integrity, this is definitely something we need to be mindful of.

Ego is the Enemy

In his book, Ego is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday illustrates this concept well, and explains how the ego can be a huge obstacle to success and fulfillment. I loved his book so much that it was my pick for the June 2016 edition of my book club. It’s also for sale on Amazon right now, so I’d encourage you to check it out. By the way, my book club is free to join, you’ll get a monthly book recommendation, special discounts on amazing books, and access to fun giveaways! You can join here if you’re feeling bookish: PatsBookClub.com.

Fame, fortune, the ego. I think these are super important topics because all of us, no matter how much success we’ve had, can stumble and lose momentum (or sometimes lose everything) in our pursuit for fame and fortune. It’s our egos getting in the way, and we can’t let that happen—for our families, our customers, our businesses, and ourselves.

Maybe your moment will be a few months down the road, a few years from now, or tomorrow. When you do find the success you’re seeking, it’s important to remember that we are all vulnerable to the alluring pull of fame and fortune. It’s a trap, and sometimes we don’t even see it coming before it’s too late. That’s a scary thing. Which is why being mindful of it can help us in the long run.

My Worst Nightmare

I’ve been very lucky in my journey, and I’ve received so much support along the way, including from you folks, my amazing SPI audience. Fortunately, this has allowed me to avoid the cockiness and desire for fame and fortune that typically comes with success. I’m so grateful for that.

But it’s interesting. Sometimes, when people discover me for the first time through my website and see the income reports, their immediate reaction is that I’m cocky, and that whatever amount of success I’ve had has gone to my head. As loyal readers of SPI and you folks who’ve followed me on this journey, you know that’s not the case. You know that my income reports, for example, are about much more than money. They’re about my journey, the process, and, above all, the lessons I’ve learned through both my successes and failures. I’ve always been transparent and humble about that, and honest about the mistakes I’ve made.

This won’t ever change. It’s who I am.

My worst nightmare is about looking back on my life twenty or thirty years from now and seeing that I’d been making decisions based on my own drive for fame and fortune; to realize that I’d let my ego control me, making decisions with money as the primary motivator, and putting others aside to serve my own selfish needs. I imagine this and cringe to think that my kids would see me as that kind of person. I couldn’t ever let that happen. It’s my job as a father to set a good example, and that person is so far from who I would want them to become.

We’ve all seen it happen before. People are changed by success. Some for the worse and others are capable of staying humble and keeping a healthy perspective. But I think that change is a necessary part of growth. When you scale a business, for example, things have to change as you grow and succeed. You have to adapt to all the change that’s happening around you.

As Ramit Sethi from IWillTeachYouToBeRich.com says, “What got you here won’t get you there.”

That’s true, but you shouldn’t change as a person deep down. You should always be kind, you should always be open to criticism, you should always listen to others, and you should never let being successful get in the way of being true to yourself and to the journey you’re on.

My Early Run-In With the Dangers of Fame and Fortune

I have a story to share. I’m not going to mention any names, but when I first started my online business, there were a number of other people who were also starting online businesses. Early on, I became really close friends with some of those people. We were starting out together in a way, so it was natural to connect and commiserate about our experiences in online business. We were in the same boat together, learning the ropes of Internet business and getting started. Some of those people ended up becoming very successful, building software companies and other information product businesses, and making six figures a month a lot sooner than I did.

Sadly, I’m not friends with some of them anymore. Fame and fortune changed who they were for the worse. They started to communicate and represent themselves in ways that I knew weren’t how they used to be. It was hard to see, because it was obvious that they were in it for the money, and were putting other people’s feelings aside, including my own, in order to gain even more success. A lot of them became cocky and just didn’t rub me the right way, so we went our separate directions.

Those people, who allow fame and fortune to cloud their judgment and become cocky and selfish, aren’t the type of person I want to be friends with. Going through that experience has been an important one for me, because it showed me that anyone can be changed by the singular pursuit of money and fame. I don’t want that to happen to me. Even though I’m sad I’m not friends with those people anymore, I’m happy I went through that experience, because it showed me that even the best of us sometimes can’t see it coming, and reminds me that we all need to put support systems in place to make sure that it doesn’t.

6 Ways I’ve Managed to Keep My Head on Straight

Look, we all have stumbling blocks. It’s part of the journey. The key is to maintain your focus, stay grounded, and remember who you are. There are six important ways that I’ve managed to do that, and keep my head on straight in the process.

Let’s jump into it:

1. Solicit Support from Others

I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the support I’ve had from colleagues and the generous and kind SPI community. Sometimes when you start to become successful, you don’t even know that you’re changing because everything is often happening so fast and you’re in new territory.

I have three groups of people who help me keep my head on straight:

First, I have all of you, my amazing community.

I mention this a lot on my podcast and on the blog, but it needs to be said, over and over again. I’ll say it again here: I appreciate you! So much. If you ever see me going down a path that doesn’t represent what Smart Passive Income is all about, I want you to let me know. I believe strongly that the people around us make us better, and you folks are integral to that.

I’ve even joked before that if you see me getting to the point where I become somebody I’m not supposed to be, just please give me a hard slap on the face if you see me in person. I’ll be shocked at first, but thankful!

Okay, don’t really slap me. Maybe a, “Come on, Pat! Get it together!” Something like that. Truthfully, I really don’t want to go to the dark side. And you folks are a huge part of keeping me honest. A number of times in the past, I’ve done things on the blog that may have not been the best decision, and you’ve been there to quickly call me out and share your thoughts openly and honestly.

So, I call upon you, the SPI audience, to continue in that role, keeping me on track doing what I’m supposed to do here, which is helping you start your online business. Thank you!

The second group of people who have helped me greatly are my mastermind groups.

I’m in two different mastermind groups currently. One that meets Mondays and another that meets Wednesdays. I rely on those people to be brutally honest with me. We often discuss future plans and ideas I have for what’s to come, so without that direct feedback, things could go off the rails for the business.

Sometimes when I share what my plans are, they come back and say something like that’s not what I should be doing because it doesn’t align with my goals, or it doesn’t align with who I am. I’m very thankful for that feedback. In a way, my mastermind groups are the first line of defense before the SPI community sees what I do, so I very much love that I can connect with them, receive constructive criticism about my business and brand before I put it out into the world.

It’s a two-way street. They provide feedback to me, and I also provide feedback to them. We keep each other honest, and making the decisions that are best for all of us. It’s great.

The last (but so, so far from the least) person who helps me keep on the straight and narrow is my wife, April.

She has told me time and time again that if my head grows too big, she will not be there to support me anymore, and I thank her for that. You can interpret that in any way that you wish, but I know that she’s been very good at keeping me grounded. Especially when it comes to my “Internet fame” (more on that below!) level of status and success. She supports me in everything I do, and I appreciate her for that, but she also brings me back down to earth a lot. It’s because of her that I’ve been able to remain steady and it’s her voice that has helped me make sure that my family values are always there at the top of my priority list. I’ve learned, because of April, that the values I hold dear with my family can also be applied to the decisions I make in business. You’re the best, April.

Now onto the second way I’ve managed to help me keep my head on straight!

2. Remember Where You Came From

Remembering where I came from is really important because it reminds me of the journey I’ve taken—each joyful and each painful step along the way—and that it wasn’t always like this. Thinking about this brings me back down to earth and reminds me that many people, especially many of you in the SPI community, have gone through this or are currently going through this same journey.

I’m very fortunate that I get invited as a guest on so many great podcasts where I get to retell my origin story of how I got laid off and came to be where I am today. It’s very important to me, and I love telling that story.

A lot of people actually say, “Pat, I’m sorry. I want to share your story with my audience, but I know you’ve told this story a thousand times. You mind telling it once more?” But I never mind telling it again because it always reminds me of how far I have come since that day. It always reminds me that it was not easy, and that obstacles and challenges are part of the process. Thinking about that keeps me on track.

Remembering where I came from is really important, so I would recommend that all of us reflect and remember our origin story, and try to tell it as often as possible. It will help you remember just how hard things were and it’ll keep you humble as you move forward. Some of you are in that journey right now, so appreciate the fact that you are creating your story at this very moment. Exciting!

3. Adopt a “Failure is an Option” Mindset

“Failure is an option” is a phrase that is used by Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman of MythBusters. I love that show, and I love this philosophy. I actually went with my son to watch MythBusters live (it was so awesome!) and they made a big deal out of this idea, focusing on teaching kids that failure is okay and part of the learning process. That is, after all, what science and experimentation is all about, and what life is all about.

I grew up in a world where if I came home with a 96 percent on a test I was often asked, “Well, what happened to the other 4 percent?” I tried to be perfect all the time, but now that I’ve adopted the entrepreneurial mindset and learned that failure is actually a part of the process, it has become an option that I’m not afraid to risk.

Without freedom to fail, you’re not giving your journey the full effort it deserves.

Without mistakes, we don’t learn and adjust the next time around. Plus, failing and a willingness to fail are powerful ways to keep yourself grounded. It helps you realize that you’re not perfect. Nobody is perfect. As someone who is here as a representative of other entrepreneurs and a guide in your entrepreneurial journey, I think it’s important for me to fail, be open about my failures, and also show you how I learn from my failures.

So get out there, be courageous in your journey, and be willing to fail!

4. Be Smart With Money

My philosophy toward money is always to save more than I spend. That’s personal finance 101. In the online world, we’re very fortunate because we can put certain systems in place to help us with our income generation and spending. Now and again, my wife and I talk about what we purchase, and we’re actually very strict about what we spend our money on, with very few splurges. We do spend quite a bit of money on vacations (hello, Disney cruise!), because those experiences and the memories we create with our kids are really important to us. But, material-wise, there’s only one thing that I purchased that may not have been necessary, and that’s my new Tesla.

I mean, look at it! It’s so snazzy! 😀

 

It is definitely an expensive car, but it was sort of a reward to myself for what I’ve done over the past number of years. Also, in my continuous pursuit to become more like Marty McFly, it’s the closest to the Delorean I think I’m ever going to get!

Some of you may be asking, “But, Pat, it’s a Tesla! How does this factor into your goal of not letting fame and fortune go to your head?”

Well, it’s simple. Yes, the Tesla X is an expensive vehicle, but it’s also super practical in the sense that it’s larger, so it can fit the whole family (some have even called it the “World’s Least Boring SUV”). It’s also an all-electric car, so it has zero emissions, which is important to me and my family. And, because I’ve built a business online, I’ve put in a system to be able to pay for it gradually. We are leasing it, but in order to pay for that lease, instead of dipping into money that I’ve already saved up for retirement or for my family, I created a few webinars to promote some products that gave me an extra bit of recurring monthly income.

That is what’s amazing about online business. I was able to acquire enough customers via the webinar to purchase the product I was promoting, and I received enough affiliate earnings to realize my dream of time traveling at 88 mph in my new Tesla!

5. Give Your Audience the Attention it Deserves

Some people would say that I’m “Internet famous.” I’m so humbled by this, but I don’t really consider myself famous. Not even for the Internet. How about influential? I can live with that. I go to a lot of online business conferences where a lot of you show up. I love that. People often come up to me at conferences to say hello and ask me to sign books (I signed a Kindle once, which was kind of fun). It’s interesting, and I’m so appreciative of it, but it’s an experience that I never will get used to. I don’t know how real world celebrities do it. That level of fame and attention would make me feel uncomfortable and weird.

It’s crazy though. Even as a mildly influential person, I’m always surprised by the volume of attention I get at conferences. I still pinch myself every time that happens because I’m like, “Hey, I’m just a regular guy. Why are people coming up to me asking for my signature or wanting to talk to me?”

On the other side of it, I also need to remind myself that I have helped people create their own online businesses, and that counts for something. I’ve been so grateful to have had the opportunity to impact lives in a positive way. Every so often I’ll have people come up to me, or send me a note online, telling me about how what I’ve done has helped them. It’s an awesome feeling. I love to hear those stories, but I never hold myself higher than others. When I experience those moments with people, I consider myself a little further along in the journey. I try to remember that I’m not better than anybody else. I’m just somebody who has taken the action already to get me where I’m at today. My job is to help others take that same action.

I’m not going to lie; it’s awesome to be recognized, and I have been getting recognized on the street more and more lately, which is interesting. But it is something that I don’t need and I don’t necessarily want. I love the fact that I can go to conferences and be a “rock star” for a few days, and then come home to find that nobody recognizes me when I’m out and about. I just make sure that if people do recognize me and come up to chat, I give them all of my attention and the respect they deserve. When I’m at conferences, I also give people as much time as possible. If people want to chat, I’m there for them, and I never walk away.

After my keynote speech at Podcast Movement last year, I spent four hours in the lobby just to make sure I spoke to everyone who wanted to chat. I did that because I was in their shoes when I first started. It goes back to remembering where I came from. I was the one who stood in line for hours to talk to people who I really respected. That made a big impact on me then, and I want to do the same for others.

The final way I don’t allow fame and fortune go to my head is . . .

6. Remain Open to Criticism

I’m always looking to improve, but I know just how fragile being in the public eye can be. At any moment, anything I do could have a dramatic effect on the trust and credibility I have with my audience. That trust and credibility, and the relationship that comes with that, is the most important thing. Without you, as I mentioned at the start, I couldn’t make this work. Your constructive criticism is a crucial part of my growth, and my ability to keep a level head when it comes to fame and fortune. So, I’m always open to constructive criticism.

I know that everyone’s voice matters, as long as it’s coming from a place of respect and honesty. Name-calling, even if it includes a pun, is no good. But if it’s a criticism that is honest and open and respectful, I’ll always try to understand it, and make changes if it makes sense.

So, that about does it! On that last note, if you do have any feedback you’d love to send my way, please do. I’d love to hear it!

As for this post, I wanted to dedicate some time to open up about these things, let you in on my brain a little bit. These topics are important to me, and I hope you find that they’re cool with you too. My hope is that maybe what I’ve said here will help you prepare for what’s to come, and help you navigate the dangerous waters of fame and fortune.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate you!

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